Confessed
by silvermoon8705
Summary: Merlin is both a sorcerer and a Confessor. There is no one else like him... Ch. 2: Merlin ends up being partially Confessed and he deals with the repercussions of this change. Merlin/Legend of the Seeker fusion.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Confessed (1/?)  
**Author:** silvermoon8705  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Characters/Pairings:** Merlin/Morgana (more characters to come later on)  
**Spoilers: **None. (AU)  
**Disclaimer:** The show Merlin is property of the BBC. Legend of the Seeker is property of ABC Studios. No money is being made.  
**Summary: **Merlin is both a sorcerer and a Confessor. There is no one else like him…

From a young age (after his parents' death in battle), he was taken in by a group of Confessors who let him live despite the common practice to kill male Confessors at birth. It had been unheard of for Confessors to possess wizard's magic, and of such power as well, so the Confessors were intrigued to find out how he would be different.

Merlin grew closest to Morgana, a fellow Confessor. Together they fought to protect their home and all fellow magic users against the tyranny of King Uther of Camelot. But unfortunately, despite Merlin's uniqueness – he is still unable to resist the thirst for power that befalls all male Confessors…

**Author's Note:** Morgana is not a sorceress in this AU. She is only a Confessor. This is a Merlin/Legend of the Seeker fusion -- I'm just taking the Confessor idea and adapting it into the Merlin universe. No characters from LotS will appear.

~ * ~

"Remember, Merlin, use your magic. Only your wizard's magic," Morgana instructed him sternly.

Merlin nodded quietly. She smiled back at him. Morgana was only eighteen years old, two years older than Merlin himself; but he always listened to her more so than any of the elder Confessors, even the Mother Confessor. The two of them: he and Morgana worked well together, and despite their young age – just on the edge of adulthood – they were deemed one of the better "fighting" teams amongst the Confessor group. So it was not uncommon for them to be assigned tasks like this.

He knew that she was right – it was better not to tempt fate and use his Confessor powers when he didn't have to. His luck could run out, no matter how much he hoped that would never happen.

The Confessors were admittedly surprised, and then relieved, when they found that Merlin had managed to avoid the danger of his heritage, of him losing control and lusting for power. Merlin wasn't completely sure why his Confessor powers hadn't affected him for the worst a few years ago…when he was on the cusp of adolescence and when, apparently, the loss of control should have made lose himself in the quest for power, for domination.

All the same, the consensus had been that his wizard's magic – the sorcerer part of him – was providing a balance of sorts to keep the Confessor side controlled somehow, at bay from the unquenchable lust for power.

Merlin fervently hoped that was the case and that it would stay that way. Because he was not a fool. He was certain that the Confessors would kill him if he did lose control. The combination of both his Confessor powers and wizard's magic could do unspeakable harm if left uncontrolled. The only true friend he felt he had was Morgana… most of the other Confessors gave him nervous, uneasy looks when they thought he wasn't looking.

The two of them made their way to where they heard a few knights from Camelot were going to be congregating. The Mother Confessor had told them to eliminate the threat of the enemy knights, to make sure they didn't get curious and try to look for the Confessors' dwelling. Who knew what orders King Uther had given them, so this precautionary measure was necessary.

Merlin didn't understand why this tyrant king was so against magic users, even Confessors who only wished to help people. Confessors were respected amongst most people – those who didn't denounce magic thanks to Uther's magic banning edict – for their power to ascertain the truth when a situation called for it. Any dispute that needed to be settled, Confessors could moderate between the opposing parties to find the truth and resolve the quarrel. Everyone was honor-bound to tell a Confessor the truth.

Merlin and Morgana came at the knights from behind, Morgana wielding her sword and Merlin blasting fire and strong winds at the enemy. There were a total of ten knights in the area – why they were lurking around here, neither of them knew. They simply wanted them gone.

Morgana was impressive with swordfighting and she could hold her own no matter how many people she had to fight. Ten knights were easy enough to handle between the both of them – Morgana could always Confess someone if her sword failed her and Merlin depended on his magic to see him through.

In the midst of fighting a knight, Merlin saw Morgana fall – her sword being kicked out of her reach.

"Morgana!" He cried in alarm.

He blasted the knight away from him with such a great force of wind that the man was knocked off of his feet and landed several feet away.

Turning back around to help Morgana, he found that she didn't need it. She had her hand around the man's neck, and Merlin knew that she was Confessing him.

He saw her green eyes shift to black as she looked directly at the other man, placing him under her control, her power.

He could hear someone coming up behind him and Merlin spun around to fight him.

Later he didn't know why he did it, but something broke inside of him as if a bridge had collapsed.

Grabbing the man's neck, he called up his Confessor powers and placed the knight under his power. The man's eyes went black as he stared into Merlin's eyes.

"Kill the other knights," he said smoothly.

"I am yours to command, Master," the knight said, his eyes blank.

Not long after, the knights were fighting amongst themselves – the knight that Morgana had Confessed and then the one that Merlin had Confessed doing their bidding.

But the problem was that Merlin couldn't quite stop. More knights had come to fight them and Merlin couldn't resist Confessing each and every one of them. As a male Confessor, he did not have to recover after using his power – unlike Morgana who collapsed, worn out, after Confessing someone. It was to insure that a Confessor's powers were not unlimited, that there was a check and balance in using them. For a male Confessor, he was free of this restriction.

Morgana was justifiably upset at Merlin, and only her knocking him out with a hard punch stopped him.

~ * ~

When they were back home, Merlin had learned from Morgana that she had killed all of the knights because she couldn't have a whole group of Confessed knights heading back to Camelot. King Uther knew the signs of a Confession – he was not easily fooled. And with that knowledge, Uther would have been even more bent on taking out as many Confessors as he could. Their numbers were already dwindling because of his actions.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Merlin repeated earnestly to Morgana.

The two of them were in Merlin's room – both sitting on his bed. Morgana only gave him a somber look in return.

"I told the Mother Confessor what happened. I could not lie to her, Merlin," she said quite calmly.

Merlin nodded. He knew that would happen – he had been under no delusion that they would be able to find a way around the truth.

"She thinks that maybe what happened – your power breaking out like that – means that you are not completely immune as she thought. Maybe your wizard's magic delayed your Confessor side from affecting you negatively. Unfortunately, it is starting now. And there's not much that can be done about it."

Merlin sighed. "I—I understand," he stuttered, feeling lost and very worried. "If the Confessors have to kill me, then I'm okay with that. I don't want to cause trouble."

Morgana looked down for a moment, clasping and unclasping her hands together in a gesture of clear anxiety and nervous anticipation.

She looked up at him and she smiled weakly, "No one is ever okay with dying, Merlin. Please don't speak in such a way. It bothers me," Morgana said firmly, pleading softly with him.

"What other choice is there, Morgana? What other option do I have?" He countered her.

Merlin was alarmed when he saw wetness building in Morgana's eyes. She looked about ready to cry…

"Morgana, what is wrong?" He asked her.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and she rested her head on his shoulder.

After wiping at her eyes, Morgana seemed to come to some resolve and she lifted her head to look at Merlin once more.

"Fortunately, I suppose, your problem has just started – it is still early and there is still hope because of that. Mother Confessor believes that we can help you…without resorting to killing you. Your wizard's magic is too important. There are not many sorcerers who have such magic like you do. A good number of them are trained sorcerers, not born sorcerers like you are. We need you."

"Morgana, the others always give me uneasy looks when they think I'm not paying attention to them. You know that too, I know you do."

She gave a resigned sigh and nodded. "Yes, you're right. But you do not have to die, Merlin. Mother Confessor told me of another option."

Merlin looked at her, doubtful yet interested at what this other option could possibly be. "What is it then?"

Morgana bit her lip and then she said softly, "To insure you don't fall into the wrong hands or your lust for power doesn't become too strong to temper, we can Confess you," she finished, looking at him to see his reaction to her words.

Merlin was in shock and also quite puzzled. Surely since he was a Confessor himself, he couldn't be Confessed – that couldn't be possible. It couldn't be done, could it?

He voiced his confusion to her. "That doesn't make sense, Morgana. How can that even be done?"

"Some of the other Confessors have been looking into it since you were taken in years ago. They say that because you are not just a Confessor, but a sorcerer as well, that there could be a chance that you can be Confessed."

"But you don't know for sure. You _can't_ know how it would affect me – if I would be fully Confessed, partially or the Confession would not work at all," Merlin pointed out.

Morgana agreed with him. "Yes, I know, but we have to try. I don't want you to die, Merlin. Mother Confessor believes this could work."

Merlin held her gaze for a long moment and then he nodded resignedly. "All right, I agree to it. If Mother Confessor thinks it would help, then I'll take the Confession," he said grimly, knowing quite well what would happen to him – that he would lose his sense of self, his individuality, if the Confession did manage to affect him fully. It was a risk that he was willing to take if he could avoid death. And this way, he would be able to continue aiding his fellow Confessors and other magic users from foes set upon their destruction.

Morgana accepted his response in resignation as well, almost as if she too had expected it. "Mother Confessor believes it will be a kindness if I were the one to Confess you. Since we are closest to each other."

Merlin nodded. "And I will be under your power," It was a statement of fact. He knew well what could happen and he would not let himself be deluded as to the price he was paying.

"You don't have to do this, Merlin," she reminded him gently. "You're still young, only sixteen. I'm just two years older than you, but still…it's not right."

"And is dying any better?" Merlin retorted. Morgana shook her head. "I trust you, Morgana," he said firmly, without any doubt in his voice.

Morgana smiled at him and then she said, "I know you have never been intimate with anyone, Merlin."

He shook his head slowly. She understood what she wanted to do. Touching someone in the midst of a battle was not to only way to Confess someone. Confessors lost control of their powers when they made love to a person, leaving the other person Confessed afterwards.

"No, I haven't," Merlin said.

She almost whispered to him, as if she were revealing a guarded secret. "I haven't either."

"But you're eighteen, Morgana! Almost twenty. I thought that – that," Merlin stopped himself then at the pointed look in Morgana's eyes.

"How could I, Merlin, knowing that the man would most certainly be Confessed? It is a fate--" she paused, realizing that Merlin would now be subject to that fate. Her green eyes grew darker as tears began to build up. "I wanted it to be you…and I waited until you were ready. I had hoped you would be left unaffected, but now it appears that you have to be Confessed. I can't bear to see you die, but I don't know if this is a better option. I don't want to do this to you…" she murmured.

"I'm okay with this, truly. Please just don't worry about it. I know what could happen. Promise me you won't blame yourself when I allowed you to do this. Promise me that," he entreated her, his blue eyes piercing hers.

"Merlin…" She began uneasily.

He interrupted her. "Promise me!"

Morgana inclined her head. "All right. I promise you."

A few minutes later, the two of them were both naked with Merlin looking up at Morgana, her long, dark hair flowing down and touching his chest.

"You're beautiful," Merlin whispered breathlessly.

She smiled at him and bent her head to kiss her way down his neck and then his shoulder.

"Morgana…" Merlin moaned, his eyes looking to her in wonder and awe.

She looked back at him, getting a thrill at having him under her thrall.

Then he moved his hands up to place them behind her head and he captured her lips with his.

And soon, all coherent thought was swept away.

~ * ~


	2. Certainty

**Title:** Confessed (2/?)  
**Author: **silvermoon8705  
**Rating: **PG  
**Characters/Pairings: **Merlin/Morgana, Morgause  
**Spoilers:** None. (AU)  
**Disclaimer:** The show Merlin is property of the BBC. Legend of the Seeker is property of ABC Studios. No money is being made.  
**Summary: **Merlin ends up being partially Confessed and he deals with the repercussions of this change.  
**Author's Note: **Morgana is not a sorceress in this AU. She is only a Confessor.

Thank you to those who have shown interest in this story and to those who have left reviews as well. I truly appreciate it. :) *sends you virtual cookies* ;)

~ * ~

Morgana and Merlin stood before the Mother Confessor who looked expectantly at the two younger Confessors.

Merlin had a somber look on his face; his eyes a darker blue now as the magnitude of what had transpired was starting to be realized.

Morgana spoke for them since Merlin had his head down and was avoiding the Mother Confessor's gaze.

"Mother Confessor, it worked -- mostly," she began, and then at her questioning look, Morgana explained further, "Merlin has not been Confessed fully. It is a partial Confession. He still retains his sense of identity, his independence."

The Mother Confessor peered at Merlin who still did not dare face her. "Look at me, child," she said, gently coaxing.

Merlin looked up at her then, a determined glint in his eye as if he were trying to fight something.

"Is it true? What Morgana said? How do you feel?" The Mother Confessor inquired of him.

Merlin nodded. "Yes, she is telling the truth. I think my Confessor powers have only been affected – I can't call them to me anymore. My wizard's magic is still there – it feels the same as always."

Morgana looked to the Mother Confessor. "What does that mean?" Morgana asked her.

The older woman appeared thoughtful for a moment and she spoke, "This is a good thing. His Confessor powers are no longer a concern because you," she nodded to Morgana. "Morgana, will command them when the need arises."

Morgana inclined her head. "Yes, Mother Confessor."

Merlin nodded as well in understanding. It made sense that Morgana would now assume control of that part of him – he felt some relief at that because otherwise, he knew that he'd be condemned to death. Merlin understood the ancient tradition and any way to avoid dying young was something he felt was worth the cost. "So I won't have to worry about my Confessor side?" He confirmed.

"No, child, you do not. For now, consider yourself, first and foremost, a sorcerer, a wizard. You should focus on that part of you – the heritage given to you by your dearly departed father. You shall visit your great uncle, Myrddin Wyllt, with greater frequency now. He will train you properly as a wizard," she instructed him.

"But he's mad!" Merlin cried. "He keeps miniature dragons as pets!"

Morgana rolled her eyes at that. His great uncle wasn't exactly mad, Morgana knew – she had met him a few times, Myrddin Wyllt was simply…_eccentric_ could have been the right word for him. He had good intentions and a good heart, but he lived alone mostly like a hermit; so his oddities could not be missed.

The Mother Confessor shook her head, looking mildly amused. "That may be, but he is your family, Merlin. Now that your Confessor powers are not an issue; there is no better time to learn and understand the art of wizard's magic. It is something that we Confessors can not teach you."

Merlin sighed. "If you believe that is best, then I will go to him."

"Very good," she said. "You will set out tomorrow. The sooner, the better."

"But Mother Confessor--" Morgana started, surprised at her decision.

But she just held up her hand at Morgana's protest. "I am doing this for your own benefit, Merlin, you must understand. You must embrace your wizard's magic and forget your Confessor powers. They are dangerous to you. It is unfortunate that your mother's weakness caused her to bed a sorcerer, but we shall not let it hinder us."

Merlin nodded weakly, his hands clasped behind his back. "I understand, Mother Confessor."

Morgana cast him a sympathetic look. Merlin smiled softly at her, though she could see the sadness that he was feeling…losing his parents at such a young age and barely having any memory of them except for stories retold to him.

"I do not blame your mother, Merlin. Hunith was a practiced Confessor – she was a dear friend of mine. You can not fault anyone for falling in love as deeply as she did with your father."

Merlin bowed his head. "Yes, I know. Thank you."

"And I think you have not told me all that there is to tell, am I right?" The Mother Confessor prodded him gently.

Merlin looked to Morgana then. "I think you should go, Morgana."

"No, I'm staying," she countered him firmly. "What is it? I know how a Confession works – what it involves. Nothing you say will surprise me."

"The Confession did not only take away my ability to use my Confessor powers and place them under Morgana's control, it also--" Merlin paused then, unwilling to continue.

Morgana's eyes widened in realization. "You knew that could happen. It is something unavoidable," she pointed out.

Merlin nodded. "I did accept it, but now – feeling it, I almost wish that I had died instead."

"Love can be a powerful emotion, my child, but to love someone does not have to be a burden. It can be a positive thing," the Mother Confessor reassured him.

"Merlin, I'm sorry," Morgana said apologetically.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Merlin told her sincerely. "I knew what had to be done. I chose this fate over death. The last thing I ever would have wanted was to turn into a person evil would welcome. And now, that won't happen. But, Mother Confessor, is right," he turned back to the older woman. "I should go to see my great uncle. It would give me a chance to clear my mind."

"I am glad that we have been able to help you, child. I'm most grateful," the Mother Confessor said to him.

She moved from her seat and went to him, wrapping her arms around him in a hug.

"Your mother loved you with all her heart," she whispered to him. She kissed him on the top of his dark head, and he looked at her with glistening eyes.

He smiled quietly at her. "Thank you," he uttered sincerely and then he turned away from her, wiping at his wet eyes quickly before he left the room.

Morgana followed him out of the room and then she turned to face him. "Merlin…" she began, the uncertainty clear in the air.

He shook his head. "What I feel – I know that I can never fall in love with anyone else. That will not change. And it is a small price to pay – you are my friend, the one I feel closest to, but…"

"But what?"

"The strength of it, of the love. It's so strong. It's almost blinding…" he explained to her, looking directly at her. His gaze was piercing as he looked into her eyes.

"Oh Merlin…I don't know what to say," she said softly, feeling sorry for him.

"I didn't know how it would feel until now having to experience it. I feel like I'm weakened."

"But you're lucky, Merlin, remember that. You are still your own person. Focus on the positive of it, all right? In time, I'm sure you'll learn to cope with the change," she tried to reassure him.

"Thank you, Morgana," he said sincerely.

"You're still leaving tomorrow?" she asked him.

He nodded. "I think it will help me."

She smiled at him. "If it will make you happy, then I agree with your decision. But I was wondering if you'd like a parting gift."

"A parting gift?" He murmured, suddenly feeling very warm as she shifted closer to him.

"Yes, it's in my chambers." She winked at him.

Merlin grinned back at her, understanding, and walked with her to her room, hand in hand. His mind was still conflicted about the partial Confession, about what it would mean and how it would affect him as he grew older, but for now, he was simply thankful that his Confessor side wouldn't overwhelm him. That, if the gods were on his side, he wouldn't ever succumb to the grim fate of the bloodlust.

~ * ~

"How are you, sister?" Morgause greeted Morgana who was seated before a tree with an open book on her lap.

"I'm doing fine. What is it that you want, Morgause?"

"I heard Confessing Merlin worked."

Morgana set aside her book and she nodded. "Yes, it worked well enough. He was partially Confessed. Enough to subdue his Confessor powers, but he still retains his free will."

Morgause sat down beside her. "Oh, what a pity. I had hoped he'd be completely Confessed. That is rather unfortunate."

"Morgause, I know you don't like him, but you shouldn't be so mean about it. He has done nothing wrong and he _will do nothing wrong_. His Confessor powers are under my control. He won't be a danger to anyone."

"Have you proven it?" Morgause asked her briskly.

Morgana sighed. She didn't like where the conversation was heading. "Proven what?"

"That his ability to Confess can be done only by your whim? I would think all of us Confessors here, me included, would appreciate proof that he won't stab us in the back."

Morgana shook her head. "No, I won't do it," she held firm.

"I am sure that Mother Confessor will agree with this. We need the certainty, Morgana. There is no other way. We will even find a person to Confess – someone inconsequential in King Uther's court. It will be like killing two birds with one stone. Uther is our enemy after all."

Morgana considered her sister's words. However much she did not want to admit it, Morgause had a point. They needed valid proof that all was well. Even if a Confessor could tell if a person was lying, this matter of a partial Confession was previously unheard of. Though Morgana felt that she could trust Merlin, some assurance would not be unwelcome.

She nodded to the blonde. "I think you're right. I'll talk to Merlin about the matter when he returns from his visit with his great uncle."

Morgause smiled in thanks to her. "I'm glad that we agree with each other."

Though Morgana wasn't quite sure how Merlin would take this need for proof…

~ * ~

Can anyone guess who the person will be who Merlin will be forced to Confess? The answer will be in the next chapter at any rate. :)


End file.
